VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Long time no see folks!!!

As you probably assumed, me and my family our going on ... VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are going to St. Cloud Minnesota!! We will be staying at an awesome hotel with, 3 swimming pools, 2 hot tubs, 2 restaurants, a basketball court, 2 or 3 gyms, ping pong, a fitness center, an arcade, and nice rooms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, if you want more Maria, I helped my dad at his blog Mr.Dilettante with Gulity Pleasures part 38 and 39!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now for our guest my brother... BEN!!!!!! (aka Lenny)

Hi, you may know me as the sports dude with the funky icon. The hotel has plenty of stuff and is a lot of fun. If there is any drawback there is no free breakfast. Guess I have to live on Pop Tarts, the breakfast of champions. I'm gonna go off topic now. I was shocked this afternoon when Memphis almost got beat by Cal St. Northridge. Like many of you I filled out my bracket and had Memphis winning the title. Hot team(no, not like looks), good coaching and 30 wins. They got no respect because they play in C-USA. You shouldn't judge a team based on what leauge they play in. Memphis is a legit 1 and they deserved it. (Sorry, Big East).

Quit saying Lenny to me Maria or I will start shouting out.

Well thank you for that update Ben! Now time for an ending joke!!!!!!!!!

If an egg made up a song what would it be called? Keep your sunny side up!!!!!!!!!!!

Guilty Pleasures Part Twenty-One - Maria Takes Over Completely And Talks About Love

Okay folks. Hey, are you here? Let's pay attention folks! Hut hut hut! Stand at attention like a soldier and pay attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maria is in the house and I am going to tell you all about love. This Guilty Pleasures is about people telling, wondering, admitting and fighting about love. Have a good time folks, and watch the show! Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First up - this one is about people telling about love. These guys are the Beatles!!!! Yeah!!!! And this is one of their first big songs, from way back in 1963, when my dad was a baby. Here we are, introducing:

She Loves You

The next one is from 10 years later, in 1973. These guys know something about love, but they don't seem sure. So they are wondering. Here are the Spinners asking the musical question

Could It Be I'm Falling in Love?

Okay, Dad tells me that the next one is from the disco era. I think that's sorta true. There are people dancing, so I guess it's possible. Here it is folks, the Emotions, from 1977, admitting that you've got:

The Best of My Love

Finally, sometimes people fight a little bit about love. Oh well, that's the way things are when people are pretty or handsome. So, here are Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney from late in 1982, having an argument about a girl. The both say that:

The Girl Is Mine

Polls are open. Go ahead and vote, people! And I'm hoping to see some comments here! So get voting - I picked all the songs personally. So you'd better vote, people! Or else I'll have to sic my Webkinz on you again!

Maria forever! And here's my ending joke:

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens weren't invented yet!

Maria's World Because She's Back! Part Two!

(Part one is here) Now read it, before you can read this blog, otherwise you get a ticket! Ha ha HAH!

I guess Godzilla did show up here on my other blog after all? Sorry about that folks, I really asked him not to, but sometimes that's just what he does.

Anyway, now I want to give you my likes:

• Pokemon!
• Baseball
• Pizza
• Chicken Divan (that my Mom makes)
• Webkinz!
• Cartoons!
• Jokes
• Running
• Reading
• Dogs (my cousins have two now and I want one. Dad? Did you hear me?)
• Ben 10
• Dresses - I especially liked my first communion dress, which was cool
• Video games!
• Candy!
• Rock and roll!
• Girl Scouts!
• Girl Scout Cookies!
• Mr. Opheim, my cool 2nd grade teacher! P.S., he's 26 and it's pronounced OH-PIME
• Cake!!!!!!!
• The winter and the holiday season!
• Kool-Aid!
• Rescue Pets!
• My imaginary friend Cookie Dough Craving
• My real friends Kaley, Gretchen, Haily and more!
• Mrs. Brandt, my gym teacher
• Mr. Trampf, my art teacher
• Mrs. Krejcarek, my music teacher
• Mrs. Rieke, my science teacher
• Mrs. Klauer, the librarian at my school
• My blogs! My precious blogs!
• Drawing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Cats, but not as much as dogs. Dad, what about that dog I keep asking you about? Yoo hoo, tell me about the dog, Dad. C'mon, mister! Let's see that dog!
• Winning the Pokemon League in the Pokemon video games
• Park program in the summer time!
• Swimming, if I could swim better, because I can't swim because of my ears, but that's not my fault and I'm going to get that fixed so I can swim like crazy!
• All of my family, every single person!
• When I get a trophy, but I only have two Pinewood Derby ones for the slowest car Whaawhawaaaa!
• Halloween!
• Christmas!
• Valentine's Day!
• St. Patrick's Day!
• Easter!
• All the other holidays!
• Jumping rope! But only when one person is jumping and that's me and it's not two people twirling
• Steak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Having my friends over for playdates!
• Chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Excitement!!!!!!
• The State Fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• When I use a lot of exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Plenty of other stuff that I can't think of right now. But trust me I like it!

Now, the fabulous post is over! Our ending joke is. . . .

(drum rattle, drum rattle, drum rattle)

What does Adam think is remarkable in science? Atoms! Get it, get it? Don't be shy, don't be shy! C'mon, c'mon. I rock at telling jokes! It's true! Hey, admit it, people. Deal with it.

See you next time on the Maria game show, ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, thank you very much. Elvis has left the building.

New blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So have you heard about.... FEARLESS MARIA!!! Da dadadadadadooowaaaah! It's the best, it's the best blog ever! Yeah, so you better check it out, out out, bow bow bow bow pow bow!

When you're in Funkytown... so I talk about it talk about talk about it. Whoooo yeah!

Now, let's get on to the post. After all, I'm so good I still have this blog too! So you better listen up, yo!

Have you seen. . . oh, I bet you're wondering this name. Or maybe not. . . ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS!!! Well, I just did. It's great! And funny! And of course, I'm not going to tell you what happens, but hey - LOOK OUT LOOK OUT LOOK OUT, SOMEBODY'S GOING TO SPILL THE BEANS! ELVIS PRESLEY - QUICK - HE'S SELLING HEADPHONES! THEN YOU WON'T HEAR! OH, I'LL GET YOU SOMEDAY, OH YOU, OH YOU SILLY MOVIE SPOILER PERSON!

I WILL GET YOU ALIVE! I WILL!!!!!!

Okay, that's enough drama for one post. I also went to the Green Mill today with my brother and my grandma for lunch. Bet you're jealous! Neener neener! You didn't get to go! Dad had a peanut butter sandwich and ate it at his desk at Northern Tool. I know he's jealous!

Ben and I also used our gift cards at Barnes & Noble. All right, time for a little ending jokes!

How is a tree helpful in math? It has roots to help you figure out your square roots! Did you hear the one about the boy and girl who tried to kiss the fog? They mist!

What did the dentist give the marching band? A tuba toothpaste! Why did the stone go to the doctor? He had stonemonia!

That's all for today folks! Happy New Year! And you better have a happy one, yo! You better.

Maria!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Turkey Day

Well, you know it's the day, the day, the day, the day, the day, well, you know. The day. The day before Thanksgiving.

Well, I guess you could eat mayonnaise with soy sauce, but of course that would taste like a brick. Maybe not as hard as a brick, but as bad as a brick. Now, you know you're very excited about Thanksgiving, but there's one other thing you have forgotten. Well, maybe not forgotten, but never noticed. You may have never even known it in your whole life.


TODAY IS MY BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's turning 12 today. Dum dum da da dum, dum dum da da dum, he's 12 -- poosh! Waaaah for him, because now he's too old to eat kid's meals at most restaurants. But at least he's 12!

So, are you going somewhere for Thanksgiving/Turkey Day? Well, maybe you're going to hot and stinky Texas, the Lone Star State. Or you're going to Mississippi, where you'll swim and swim and try not to get run over by a huge boat, or the Titanic, or the ghost of the Titanic. Or you're just going to someplace that's not very far. Well, this year I'm back to the Cheeseheaders in WISCONSIN!!!!!!!! La la la ee la ee lo lo lo. And I'm going to go to Madison, not the town of Miley Cyrus. And I'm going to see maybe about 10 relatives or so, like aunts and uncles and cousins and my knees and my backpack and maybe I'll bring Chubby and maybe, just maybe I'll see a refrigerator come to life. But of course, that might not happen; I guess the cheese and all the other stuff will fall out as zombies and maybe they'll say: WHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Or, AAAAAUUUUUGGGH, ZOMBIES SHALL RULE THE EARTH! THE ORANGISH SKIN WILL COME OFF TO TRAP YOU AND YOU'LL FLY TO ANTARCTICA BY WAYS OF EGGS, AND JUST MAYBE FREEZE! WHAHAHAHAHA!

So there are some things that might not happen. Now you know what is going to happen next - the GRAND FINALE, FOLKS!

Jokes, jokes, jokes! Knock knock/Who's there/Turkey/Turkey Who?/Turkey scored a touchdown! Knock knock/Who's there/Grackle/Grackle Who?/Grackle made a tackle! Knock knock/Who's there/Ham/Ham Who?/Hamdingers, hamdingers, just heat 'em up in the frying pan! Knock knock/Who's there/Big Orange Hairy Monster/Big Orange Hairy Monster Who?/Ding dong, Ri Rant Ret Ruh Roor Ropen! Raggy!

Thank you for coming to the Italians Slipping Sliding Goo Factory. Hope to see you again on the About Me Show. Da da da ta da da da daaaaaaa!

THE END!

Maria

November Fans and Author Hands

First of all, as you see the title, right when you see the word, "author," you probably said, what the heck? Now you might think if kids were to write some book, it might only be five pages long.



Now it was my best friend Kaley who gave me the idea. Since she said that another girl in our class, whose name is Emily, wrote a book, too. This gave Kaley the idea. And that gave me the idea to write a book.



All right, first, let's begin with my book's title. Now please don't laugh out loud, but the title is THE MIKER-BIKER SCHOOL. The reason it's called Miker-Biker is because at this school there are two principals. You might think that's unusual, but in my story it's not. Anyway, these two tough principals names are Mrs. Miker-Biker and Mr. Miker-Biker. And the principals could transform into anything. Anyone who did not follow the strict rules would be expelled! If you did follow the strict rules, you could also turn into anything.



So there's your sneak preview. Let's get on to the other part of the title, "November Fans." Now, I bet you know why I wrote November Fans; after all, it is November, of course. Now one thing I did in November so far is I saw "The Bee Movie!" I'm not going to tell you what happens, because you're probably going to find out yourself and I wouldn't want to spoil the movie for those that do not want to know what's happening. They just want to see it for themselves. I also did my First Reconciliation this morning at St. John the Baptist. I'm not going to tell you what I told Father Skluzacek, because that's none of your beeswax! Ha, get the beeswax part?!



Now, for a couple of ending jokes. What is the shaggy dog's favorite ride at the amusement park? The Hairy-Go-Round! Hello folks, what do you have in your ear? Do you have a Pikachu? Do you have a elephant? Is Scooby in your mouth? Who knows? Hey all you species out there, what is 80,344,000 x 1 Icka-ricka-illion? The answer is 80,344,000 Icka-rick-illion, with hot sauce and soy sauce with dumplings and mashed potatoes and mayonnaise on your roof. And my stuffed animal pal Chubby says, "Ruff Ruff Bark Bark Bow Wow Hot Dog Oven."



Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!

Odd Things Happening... Every Day

You might not think this, that something happens, something just a little bit weird, each day. Something like this - a boy in my class is not very good at a letter, "R," and the blend "sh." When he says R, as in "Ryan," it sounds like "Wyan." And when he says "sheesh," it sounds like "sees." So that is something weird that has happened in the last couple of days.

Now, let's think of something else kind of weird that is happening. Like this morning, my brother Ben (also known as Lenny), who just screamed "WILL YOU STOP CALLING ME LENNY?! YOU'RE BUSTING ME!" Anyway, back to this morning... he kept saying "bring it on, fat girl!" Which I highly think is very rude, he did this while Dad was calling Uncle Paul. That's another thing that's weird.

All right now, let's stop saying stuff that's weird. On to the second news. Do you speak Italian? If you know how to say, "where's the bathroom," write a comment and say how. The reason why I'm asking you that is on a "Scooby Doo" episode, the gang was in Pompeii and Fred said... well, I forget what he said, but whatever he said, he said it, then Velma whispered to Daphne "he said, 'where's the bathroom?'"

Okay, here comes the grand finale. A couple little jokes.

Where are you today, you folks? Are you in the bathroom? Are you under the table? Are you in the kitchen, eating hoagies?

When do you expect curtains to blow? When the weather gets all cloudy, and the clouds are shaped as curtains!

What is five plus four? Of course, you know the answer is nine, but I say nine isn't enough! What about thirty-five? Or sixty-seven? Or 142?

Do you know the tongue twister "she sells sea shells by the seashore?" Here's how you can make it seem a little, well, violent. "She sees sea monsters by the seashore!"

bybymaria