Odd Things Happening... Every Day
You might not think this, that something happens, something just a little bit weird, each day. Something like this - a boy in my class is not very good at a letter, "R," and the blend "sh." When he says R, as in "Ryan," it sounds like "Wyan." And when he says "sheesh," it sounds like "sees." So that is something weird that has happened in the last couple of days.
Now, let's think of something else kind of weird that is happening. Like this morning, my brother Ben (also known as Lenny), who just screamed "WILL YOU STOP CALLING ME LENNY?! YOU'RE BUSTING ME!" Anyway, back to this morning... he kept saying "bring it on, fat girl!" Which I highly think is very rude, he did this while Dad was calling Uncle Paul. That's another thing that's weird.
All right now, let's stop saying stuff that's weird. On to the second news. Do you speak Italian? If you know how to say, "where's the bathroom," write a comment and say how. The reason why I'm asking you that is on a "Scooby Doo" episode, the gang was in Pompeii and Fred said... well, I forget what he said, but whatever he said, he said it, then Velma whispered to Daphne "he said, 'where's the bathroom?'"
Okay, here comes the grand finale. A couple little jokes.
Where are you today, you folks? Are you in the bathroom? Are you under the table? Are you in the kitchen, eating hoagies?
When do you expect curtains to blow? When the weather gets all cloudy, and the clouds are shaped as curtains!
What is five plus four? Of course, you know the answer is nine, but I say nine isn't enough! What about thirty-five? Or sixty-seven? Or 142?
Do you know the tongue twister "she sells sea shells by the seashore?" Here's how you can make it seem a little, well, violent. "She sees sea monsters by the seashore!"